hey guys.

once again, i'm in a dilemma.

about what you may ask?

about my freaking JC life of course!!!!!!!

ahhh, damn stressed and pissed off my this JC thing la seriously.

the education here is screwed up!

the amount of knowledge they feed into our brain is inversely proportional to the time they give us to process these info la seriously.

then, to make matters worse, we only use like what 10% of what we are learning.

like seriously, what will wave motion or chemical equilibria help me out in life huh?

i don't even want to work in these kind of fields la!

haissss. we just take this to get a freaking slip of paper -.-

anyway, here's how i fair during promos:

it's not exactly bad (except lit la of course) but... it's not GOOD!!!!

had a talk to my mum just JUST now.
she said i shouldn't retain -.-
how??????????????????
what if, i could make it.
i wouldn't the the happiest kid in the world during this year but i can get out of this hell hole soon.

but i must remember, ALL subjects counts in JC.
like in sec sch, they only take the best 6 subjects to put into points but for JC EVERYTHING matters.
so if i can make my math and phy better, lit is still gonna pull me down.

i really think i cmi for lit.
everytime i come into that freaking class i just shut down.
i'm more like a common sense sorta person, hence my GP is quite good while my lit is shit.
i can't take lit. all this imagination stuff is hard to process and i can't understand it.
my can't poets be straight forward and say what they wanna say instead of beating about the bush and using flowery language?! URGH!
then comes chem, wtf. i dont get chem at all.
chem is something that makes sense but its not so common.
like bonds, and shit like that.
physics is a bit easier to digest cause it's kinda duh.
like friction opposes motion = duh! hence i'm not too bad at that either.
math is half-half. hence, im about i the middle for math.

so how?!
GP: can make it
LIT: cmi
MATH: about there
PHY: abot there
CHEM: cmi

HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW??????
i have to put many many many effort in chem and lit
while learning new concepts
while improving my standards in phy and math
while maintaining my stand in GP
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

honestly, i really don't think i can do it.
i'm scared that i'll focus too much on chem and lit then my other subjects will deprove.

what's more on top of that i have to face everyday stress from CCA and class.
i seriously hate my cca and i'm unhappy in class.
yea, there's some happy moments but it's seriously hard maintaining those moments.
i don't have an outlet for my stress.
i'm so certain that i'll just lose it one day.
i've been losing my temper over little things at people last year for quite some times and now i don't want to do it again this year.
i want to live happy and with minimal stress.
JC is the last step before going out into another new world and i just want my last stage here to be a happy and meaningful one.
JC1 wasn't exactly bad, but it wasn't exactly good either.
hiassssssssssssssssssssssss.
i really just wanna restart on a new clan slate but am i compromising a year?
idk. i'm gonna think about it in the shower. bye.

-SARA :(