hey guys.

i'm in an exceptionally happy mood today.

well, lessons were shit as usual.

physics was so boring and i caught no balls.

then chem, well, 2 words "organic chem" aka the wtf topic.

i seriously got Z-E-R-O understanding of organic chem -.-

then GP, well, i found out that i'm in the A level of the cohort based on promos.

but i guess i couldn't keep my standards my and failed block test -.-

then PE, well was surprisingly okay. hehe.

but hey, that's not what made me happy today.

it was the company i was with.

my class, whom i'm not close with, was nice.

i know that they are nice from the start but i didn't talk much with them cause i'm socially awkward like that.

they most i can say is "what's today's homework?" LOL, 3 pathetic words.

anyway, today was different.

i guess when i'm forced to socialize, i can actually do it :)

yay me!

so today i actually had real conversations with my classmates and i guess i can survive JC2 anyway.

but nahh. i can't.

it's a pity that i didn't study like super hard during december holidays.

i could have stayed on now that i know that i'm not sucha loner after all.

but, let's look at the more important side.

my studies are like shit.

everybody say that i shouldn't repeat cause they are worse off then me, they are in the same boat as me, blah blah blah.

that actually kinda made me uncertain about retaining for a few moments.

then, during GP, the teacher said something that made me certain once again.

"there's no safety in numbers"

so what if many more people are worse off then me or are the same boat as me.

at the end of the day, we are taking As individually.

even though we don't do well together, it affects us individually.

it's not like i can rejoice because i'm not bad alone.

the fact still remains: I AM BAD.

what's more they have the motivation to do this but mine's gone.

idk why also but yea, it's gone.

everything in my mind is : i want a fresh start.

talking about this retaining thing, i'm meeting the principal this coming monday.

how nerve-wrecking.

shall think of the things that he may ask me and think of some responses.

i suck at giving answers on the spot.

i need time to just think it out and probably write it down.

i'm the best at writing things down to let out my feelings.

hence, this blog right.

haha.

ok la, gotta go bathe.

there's gonna be an engagement ceremony soon.

cya!

-SARA ^^