hey guys.

i feel really stressed/sad/angry/worried/uncertain/every-negative-feeling-that-exist-in-the-world today.

you know how certain i was about my decision to retain.
well, now, i'm not so certain anymore.

well, i was so certain that i wanna retain cause i really can't catch up with my studies.
on second thoughts, maybe i could catch up with physics and maths.
i COULD catch up with chem if i work my ass off.
but... as for lit, i really don't think i can.
i walk into class, i just wanna walk out.
i open the book, i just wanna close it.
the teacher talk to me, i just wanna sleep.
perhaps, and JUST perhaps, i can find the motivation to continue on studying physics, chem and math but lit is just totally 0 motivation.
i can see a small little ray of light now that i may make it through this year.
based on my studies at least.

but as for extra stuffs i'm really hopeless.
i have no friends.
i hate my CCA.
phy and lit teachers are so demoralizing.
how to diffuse my stress?
i may just break down next year and be sent to mental hospital -.-
I'M SO NOT HAPPY!

but there's no guarantee that i'm going to be happy if i repeat also.
people may look down on me.
i may revert back to my socially-awkward self and not make any friends.
as for studies, i guess it's 100% certain that i'm going to be okay, provided i work hard consistently.

either decision i make, i must take a leap of faith.
i must believe in myself.
i must know what is right for me and what's not.
let's have my options open for now.
i think i've closed off my options for a week now and all the possibilities are jumping out at me again so i feel overwhelmed.
i just have to sort out my thinking again and think it through.

i can do this.

-SARA ^^